Delayed orgasm is defined by experiencing a significant and unwanted delay before orgasm or being unable to orgasm at all during solo or partnered sex. 

Taking longer to orgasm than you'd like, or not being able to orgasm, is sometimes referred to as delayed orgasm. If you have a penis, this is also referred to as delayed or inhibited ejaculation. However, there is wide variation in what people consider taking "too long" to ejaculate or orgasm. People have different preferences for how long they would like sex to last and there is no defined length of time for how long sex should last. However, research studies have found that the average length of time it takes for someone with a penis to ejaculate during sexual intercourse ranges from 2-7 minutes. It is normal for orgasm to take a little longer if you’re older, tired, stressed, or have recently orgasmed. 

 This programme includes information about what can cause and contribute to difficulties with orgasming later than you would like, help you to understand how your difficulties may have developed and are being maintained, as well as psychosexual sex therapy based practical exercises which help to improve these difficulties.

Who is this programme for?

This programme is designed predominantly for people who were assigned male at birth or who have penises. This programme may be especially helpful if you find that you can easily orgasm in solo contexts (masturbation) but struggle to orgasm in partnered contexts.

If you have a vulva, identify as a woman or have never had an orgasm either on your own or with a partner (sometimes referred to as anorgasmia) you may also find the interactive programme ‘Enhancing sexual desire, enjoyment and orgasms’ to be helpful for you.

Experiencing changes to your level of sexual desire and arousal can be common co-occurring problems with delayed orgasm. As such, please complete both programmes if you think they would be of benefit. Your unique log in code and account will give you access to both programmes for up to 1 year.

Well done for taking this step towards improving your difficulties. The five stages of this programme will help you understand what might be contributing to your difficulties and what you can do to overcome them.

 

Stage 1 - Assessment

  • Questions about you, your health and wellbeing, and your sexual difficulties
  • A medical letter to download

Stage 2 – Psychoeducation

  • What can cause difficulties with delayed orgasm?
  • What causes arousal and orgasms?
  • What might be contributing to my difficulties with delayed orgasm?
  • Worrying thoughts
  • The vicious cycle
  • Conditions for good sex
  • What other factors don’t help?
  • Review

Stage 3 - Exercises to complete alone

  • Mindfulness
  • Mindfulness of sexual sensations
  • Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles
  • Experimenting with reducing masturbation
  • Bridging the gap between solo and partnered sex
  • Review

Stage 4 - Exercises you can do with a partner (if relevant for you)

  • Communicating with partners
  • Working together
  • Making an agreement together
  • Getting reacquainted
  • Building on sensate focus
  • Sharing your conditions for good sex
  • Review

Stage 5 – Reflection and evaluation

  • Reflection –what has been helpful and what to take forward
  • Evaluation of your progress
  • What next?

 

Start course

Your progress

  1. Stage 1 Initial assessment
  2. Stage 2 Psychoeducation
  3. Stage 3 Exercises you can do on your own
  4. Stage 4 Exercises you can do with a partner
  5. Stage 5 Reflection and evaluation